Tuesday, 11 May 2010

"Because that's how it's done!"

Actually I wanted to finally introduce Luna - a wonderful guinea pig that came to us in August 2009 - and it really is about time to do that (I think she is already a bit grumpy). But the good piggy does not like having her picture taken and all shots I have are blurry. So you will still have to wait a bit.

Instead, I want to complain - again. If you are already tired of me blowing off steam, please ignore this post and wait for a knitting-related post which will come in near future =)
My birthday is on Thursday and I'm turning 30. Wow, even writing this is weird. I mean 30... that's really grown-up and what not. I am feeling a bit funny about turning 30. I don't panic because I am leaving my twenties but I thought a lot about my decisions these past years. Unfortunately I have a habit of constantly questioning my choices and decisions. That is stupid because even if I had chosen any other way, I'd still be questioning it. I am not good at making choices but as everybody has to do it at some point, I choose. I chose to give up my job, go back to school and after that attend university in 2006. I will hopefully be done with my studies this autumn. So far, so good. My studies took longer that I had planned so my major plan went down the drain: Becoming a mother before thirty (at least once). I know you can't have it all but still... After a lot of thinking and planning, I think the new plan is to have a child by the time I am 33. The only problem is: I can think of nothing else since months. Two months ago, when I had a lot of exams and stress, my period came 5 days late. Normally it's right on time so I got a bit nervous the second day it didn't come. It would not have been the ideal time to get pregnant but nevertheless I was exited and had high hopes. I did a pregnancy test which was negative. Another three days later I was on my period and was a bit crushed. It must have been the stress of taking exams that had caused the delay. I will be patient and wait until it is time for me / us to have children but it is getting harder by the day.

To pick up this post's title: "Because that's how it's done!". That is a sentence I have been hearing a lot lately. I don't like to throw a party for my own birthday, the last time I did this was on my 18th birthday. Every year my parents are offended because I don't invite them for my birthday. Every single year my mother keeps nagging to invite them over "because that's how it's done". Or: "I cannot understand why you wouldn't invite your own parents to your birthday." And so on... Quite apart from not liking people to make a fuss about my birthday (and me), it's not that easy. Sebastian and I live in his parents house. We have our own storey and everything but of course I can't invite my parents without inviting his parents (as they live in the same house and would notice it), that would be rude. And I can't invite them both because the thought alone gives me nausea and stomach cramps. Our parents are completely different, the situation would be so awkward and distressing...
But as my mother was extra insistent this year I gave in. Sebs parents are on holiday over the weekend so I told my mother that I would like having her and my father over for breakfast on Friday or Saturday after my birthday. It was her suggestion to do it for breakfast because they both don't like cake so much. I told her over the phone and she said that my father had to work on Friday and Saturday. Is this a joke?? She kept nagging for weeks and now this? Normally my father knows his working schedule for weeks to come, so I am a bit pissed now, having to reschedule and all. So I tried to find a solution for this problem but couldn't find one as I have to juggle having my parents over AND having some friends over on the same weekend (no, it can't be at the same time...). When I finally told my mother to come alone because my father has to work, she got all pissed and told me that she would certainly not do that. She is always trying to force my father's company on me and gets sooo angry when I get evasive.

"Because that's how it's done." That is something I won't be putting up with anymore from now on. The funny thing is: A lot of people and especially family do feel the same way about it, but they do things nevertheless because that's the way things have always been. This is 2010 and a lot of things have changed over the years. I am sick of expectations and pressure just for the sake of formality and etiquette. It's bad enough what some people have to put up with during Christmas time, I think everyone should be able to do what they like on their birthday.

Whew, I had to get this off my chest. But other than that I am really looking forward to my birthday. Any excuse to eat tons of cake =) Plus it collides with a public holiday this year and Sebastian has Thursday and Friday off from work and after that it's already weekend. Yay =))

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